Rules for Bedroom Golf

These rules exist in many forms as a Google search would reveal. This simply is my revised version and one of my favorite golf jokes.

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls, (utility clubs may be used at the owners request).
2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole prior to play. (However, it is the players responsibility to ensure the course is properly moistened as dry conditions. by definition. deem the course unplayable.)
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
5. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
6. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
7. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.
8. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. (Experienced players will generally take time to leisurely tour the entire course, paying special attention to the well-formed mounds and subtle textures of the course.)
9. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. (Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.)
10. Players are encouraged to utilize proper rain gear, failure to do so may result in stoppage of play.
11. Players should not assume that the course is playable at all times. (Advanced players often find alternative means of play when this is the case.)
12. Players should ensure their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course. (Some courses allow for multiple players simultaneously, but this is extremely rare.)
13. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole. (Failure to do so also increases the difficulty of play.)
14. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.
15. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request. (Speed Golf is prohibited on nearly all courses, the exceptions being those that charge green fees.)
16. Course owners may request that the hole be replayed until the round has met with the owners satisfaction.
17. At the conclusion of play, players are generally required to remain in the vicinity of the course and admire its many facets. (Failing to do so may result in prolonged course closure.)

Hope you liked it!